I have been asked, by the ever enterprising euroresidentes team, to introduce some postings on the delicate business of how to grow old gracefully and without panic.
The subject is dear to my heart! I am in my seventy fifth year and have been retired now for nearly ten years after an active and eventful working life. My health during that period has been good and the worst I have had to struggle with has been recurring bouts of hypochondria – my occasional fears of some terminal illness happily proving illusory!
Until recently. In the last three years I have had heart surgery and radiotherapy treatment for prostate cancer. With good medical care in this country and in Spain, together with the unfussy understanding of my beloved family, I live well but remain curious about this strange business of ageing. There are often moments when I think ‘help! What’s happening to my body’ (and mind, which of course is also body). And if that’s your experience – hello!, and read on.
As a starter I will use the alphabet as a convenience, hoping that it will be a useful framework for the things we can touch on, but then perhaps move on to other matters. ‘An ABC Guide to Health for Older People’ sounds pretentious, but that’s the rough idea. I have no medical knowledge other than I can find from the web and from books, and any ideas that emerge will only be mine and have no authority other than my own understanding and experience. Where possible my concern is to be factual and to identify experiences that belong to most of us as we age. I admire people who say ‘I am as young as I feel’, but the truth is that often we don’t feel a bit young. Being old is more than feeling; it demands a level of realism about the decline, but also recognition of the new perspectives that ageing provides.
Your comments will be especially useful to others who may read this – so please, when you feel you have something to say or share, log on.
Directed to people of a certain age, I hope others too may read and share. For – sorry, but it’s true – this happens to us all!
Bryan
I Googled "coping with ageing" in hope of finding a solution to my not accepting the fact that I am turning 70.I am a gay male and perhaps that is one of the problems of acceptance. I have always had a problem with growing older especially at the 30, 40, 50, 60 and now 70 years. At 30 i felt that youth had certainly left me and I was now approaching middle age. At 40 I felt that I had reached a year that was difficult to deal with and at 50 of course you are dealing with middle age. I really found that difficult to deal with and at 60, i refused to believe that I had reached that age and now facing 70 in one month I am in disbelief. I tell peiple that I am only 57, I dye my hair, I use face creams (have since 30) and try to dress in a more youthful manner. I don't mean like a twenty year old or teenager, but more in the 40's 50's look. But mentally, I just can't seem to accept the age I am. I find it difficult to accept, but then what can one do? I don't worry about dying that is not what bothers me, I worry about being old, not appealing to younger people. Does anyone else feel like this.
Thank you for sharing this. I do understand. Its finding a balance between acceptance and resistance that's so difficult.Losing contact with younger people is one of the hardest bits.There are compensations some of which I've tried to identify in these blogs. I hope we may get some responses from others who may read your comment. Good wishes!
No, I don't feel like that at all. I don't think age has anything to do with appealing to younger people. I have always had friends older than me and my partner is 13 years older. I enjoy the company of all ages – young, middle aged, old, ancient… It is their personality that I find appealing about ageing family and friends, not their physical appearance. I too use face creams (I am 46), try to keep fit and when I go over my healthy weight limit, try to lose weight. But I do it for health reasons and to feel good in myself, not for other people. I think you need to learn to love yourself more and afirm your age. You will be much more appealing to people of all ages if you do.