We have had a lengthy comment from a reader on the Spanish version of ‘Ageing’ and here are some of the things she says about her father who is 87 and lives in his own home but near enough for her to prepare his daily meals for him. She says he is an extraordinary man, gets on well with everyone, with friends whom he has known from childhood and who ‘give him a spiritual wellbeing and enjoyment’. Apparently he is writing his memoirs, making a small tractor to cut the grass, and a greenhouse so that when Spring arrives he can start growing organic produce. His daughter says that he is ‘generous and has always looked after people around him. Nothing has ever been easy for him, but he was able to get over adversity and to progress with serenity, optimism, strength and courage.’

These comments come at a time when the media here have been picking up recent research into the lives of older people which suggest that some are tyrannized and mistreated by younger people, and especially by their own relatives.

There have been some horrific stories. It seems that for some people the elderly need to be told in words and actions that their lives are now worthless, unproductive and inconvenient.

It is certainly true that the older one gets the more selfish you can become, expecting a quite unrealistic amount of attention and care from others. And our families are likely to be the first port of call and demands made on them so great that their own lives may be intolerably pressurised. I find I have constantly to remember my own attitude to older people when I was younger. It was easy then to categorise them, rather than to study their needs and anxieties. It seems sometimes that in Bath we live in a city of the old. Slowly they move from bus to supermarket, often beautifully dressed but walking painfully yet bravely. ‘I may be old,’ they seem to say,‘ but I am still managing’.

The dialogue between the generations we have often argued for in these blogs is never more urgent than in this respect.

Meanwhile thanks to our correspondent for sharing her love for her father with us. Her final comments about him are that his ambition is to’ progress with serenity, optimism, strength and courage.’ I find that both a challenge – and a rebuke!

B.R.